Tough

"Tough isn't about how many fights you've won, it's how many you've been in".

I can't find a source for this quotation, so I will credit it to Paul who said it yesterday.

Jon and I are doing good.  I was busy seeding yesterday, which feels like a most appropriate thing to do.  New life beginning!  Jon spent the day at home cleaning and fixing the remaining building we have.  It was used as a grain bin and has 6 different compartments.  One will be turned into a chicken coop, one will become a shop/tool storage, I might even make one a painting studio, as I had been using the barn loft.  Once you shovel all the shit out and shoot the skunks and foxes it is actually quite a decent building.  We will paint it as we planned to paint the other buildings this spring.

I'm grateful for all the good that has come of this loss.  We feel so loved and supported.  I have gotten to know the Myrah family better.  I have met all my neighbours.  I have gone through a hard situation and come out the other side a better person.  I have a deep appreciation for the people who put their lives in danger and fight fires.

This place was our dream farm.  I remember walking around a year ago in disbelief that we could have all the beauty surrounding us.  I never thought I'd be the owner of such a beautiful old barn.  I guess I never was!  We are grateful to have had our dreams come true for a moment, but we are working on creating new dreams for the place as we come to terms with the loss.  This gives us an opportunity to create something that suits us and our needs.  It's hard to think of something new while we are still grieving the old, but it helps us pull through.

Our thoughts go out to the people in Fort McMurray right now.  I can't imagine losing our home.  It is hard to hear about the fires there with ours so fresh in our minds, but we are sympathetic to the situation.  Doing a lot of turning off the radio right now, the reports describing the fire are too scary for me to bear.

We planted two shrubs, have been cutting up fallen trees and mowing grass.  Little improvements feel like huge steps in rebuilding the farm right now.  Myrah Farm, we're not giving up on you this easily!